EVEREST MEN RESPECT WOMEN

Working Together to Stop Domestic Violence

Everest Metro Police will partner with the Village of Weston, the Women's Community, the D.C. Everest School District, the Marathon County DA's Office and the Hmong 18 Clan Council to provide preventative education and intervention of domestic abuse. The Everest Men Respect Women campaign will emphasize public awareness. By shedding light on the issue, we hope to make a significant dent in domestic abuse in our community.

Domestic abuse, also known as spousal abuse, occurs when one person in an intimate relationship or marriage tries to dominate and control the other person. An abuser doesn't "play fair." He uses fear, guilt, shame, and intimidation to wear you down and gain complete power over you. He may threaten you, hurt you, or hurt those around you. Domestic abuse that includes physical violence is called domestic violence.

Victims of domestic abuse or domestic violence may be men or women, although women are more commonly victimized. This abuse happens among heterosexual couples and in same-sex partnerships. Except for the gender difference, domestic abuse doesn't discriminate. It happens within all age ranges, ethnic backgrounds, and financial levels. The abuse may occur during a relationship, while the couple is breaking up, or after the relationship has ended.

Despite what many people believe, domestic violence is not due to the abuser's loss of control over his behavior. In fact, violence is a deliberate choice made by the abuser in order to take control over his wife or partner.

VIOLENT BEHAVIOR IS AN ABUSER'S CHOICE
Reasons we know an abuser's behaviors are not about anger and rage:

He does not batter other individuals - the boss who does not give him time off or the gas station attendant that spills gas down the side of his car. He waits until there are no witnesses and abuses the person he says he loves.

If you ask an abused woman, "can he stop when the phone rings or the police come to the door?" She will say "yes". Most often when the police show up, he is looking calm, cool and collected and she is the one who may look hysterical. If he were truly "out of control" he would not be able to stop himself when it is to his advantage to do so.

The abuser very often escalates from pushing and shoving to hitting in places where the bruises and marks will not show. If he were "out of control" or "in a rage" he would not be able to direct or limit where his kicks or punches land.

Source Mid-Valley Women's Crisis Service

Domestic violence warning signs - Take Precautions
Call 911 or the police in your community if you suspect a case of domestic violence.

It's impossible to know with certainty what goes on behind closed doors, but there are some telltale signs and symptoms of domestic violence and abuse. If you witness a number of warning signs in a friend, family member, or co-worker, you can reasonably suspect domestic abuse.

Frequent injuries, with the excuse of "accidents"

Frequent and sudden absences from work or school

Frequent, harassing phone calls from the partner

Fear of the partner, references to the partner's anger

Personality changes (e.g. an outgoing woman becomes withdrawn)

Excessive fear of conflict

Submissive behavior, lack of assertiveness

Isolation from friends and family

Insufficient resources to live (money, credit cards, car)

Depression, crying, low self-esteem

Reporting suspected domestic abuse is important. If you're afraid of getting involved, remember that the report is confidential and everything possible will be done to protect your privacy. You don't have to give your name, and your suspicions will be investigated before anyone is taken into custody. Most important, you can protect the victim from further harm by calling for help.

Source HELPGUIDE.org: Domestic Violence and Abuse

Domestic Violence Prevention and Awareness Training Brochure